Manstra= mantra of your inner jerk
Our inner voice is sometimes the loudest voice we hear. It likes to rear its ugly head right when we don’t need it the most. It repeats why we aren’t good enough....why we can’t do it....why we will fail. This is the voice telling us why we should stop...or better yet why we should never even start. Our subconscious often hears our inner voice before we do- which is why the effects can be so damaging. The way you speak to yourself matters. It matters so so much. Your inner voice has the power to tear you down or lift you up. You carry it with you 24/7. Guard your thoughts as ferociously as you would protect someone you love. Your thoughts become actions which become habits. Time to break the habit of your inner asshole. Time to squash the manstra.
That negative inner voice can be the hardest to quiet. Why? Because it hurts. And pain is the hardest to ignore. As humans we have a negativity bias. A natural inclination towards negative stimuli. We are more likely to dwell on an unfavorable event then remember past praise. Why? Negative events have a stronger impact on the brain than positive ones. The brain is hardwired to overemphasize the negative. By being more sensitive to negative events, the brain is protecting us from “repeating the same mistake”. Unfortunately, the brain does not make a distinction between what is a real danger and what is perceived.
Just face it, you suck. They are right. You won’t make it.
The more we listen to the manstra, the worse we will feel. And the worse we feel, the more negative self-talk/thoughts we are likely to have. It is a vicious cycle and very slippery slope. Triggers such as feeling sick, money troubles, or experiencing a failure can make the negative thoughts even louder. Family or friends can even be a trigger (**do yourself a favor
and back off from these people until the negative self-talk goes away**). Negative self-talk tends to increase at the end of the day.
So here we are, having a good day when some jerk said something we didn’t like and now we can’t stop thinking about it. We sit with the bad attitude for the rest of the day, expanding on the negative thoughts during our commute home and likely winning fake arguments along the way. We carry it through dinner and now we are in bed and can’t fall asleep. You have succumbed to the bad mood gods. Great, just great. Life is peachy.
But can I kill it?
Can we kill the negative self-talk? Not sure (sadly I doubt it to be honest), but we can definitely quiet it. Being conscious of who we surround ourselves with is crucial. We carry so much crap around every day, that we don’t often realize when people add theirs. The extra guilt/shame/story/opinions aren’t ours to begin with. The less we carry the faster we realize when someone adds something that isn’t ours. Don’t carry other people’s opinions. Their negative does not need to be your negative. It is not selfish to tell them to please stop. Or state that you can be an ear to listen but you can’t take the extra on. If you keep pouring, eventually your cup will be empty. WE ARE ENOUGH!!
Becoming more self-aware will help protect you from un-necessary stressors. Pay attention to how you react when bad/unfavorable things happen. How are you speaking to yourself? Create a quick archive of a few go to pick-me ups for when you start going down the mental list of why things are going to fail. Call a friend. Create new habits. Try to reframe the situation into a more positive light. Leave yourself notes (sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, a note on the coffee pot, even something left on your car steering wheel can work). Oftentimes these little unexpected reminders are just what our inner voice needs to keep the conversation positive. Dance and be silly! We don’t have to be so put together all the time! Ask yourself “What am I going to let myself off the hook for today?” Life is hard, and we can’t be perfect. WE ARE HUMAN!
Maybe even a direct challenge can work. When that little voice inside you starts saying “No one will read what you are writing” or “you are waaay to under-qualified to succeed” or “Who the hell do you think you are? This will never work”...look it direct in the eye and do exactly what it is saying you can’t! Write that book. Apply for that job. Run that race. Submit your pitch even though you are scared to death. Use the fear as motivation! If you don’t try, the answer will always be no. And when all else fails, move your body! Movement releases endorphins which are essential for combating negative moods.
The Manstra may fight to be loud, but we can fight harder. The negative self-talk does not need to dictate our moods or our actions. Challenge your inner voice to say 3 things positive (about anything) every time it wants to focus on something negative. Your manstra does not need to become your mantra.
You are amazing! You can do it! You will succeed!
Jennifer is a content writer from the DC area. A humorist and mindset enthusiast, Jennifer has written over 100 articles and blog posts covering the personal development niche. As American humorist Erma Bombeck did with suburban house life in the 1960s-90s, Jennifer has a unique way of finding the irony in everyday life and invoking that into the written word. Like talking to a best friend, who tells you what you need to hear (not just want you want to hear), Jennifer is relatable, motivational, and pretty damn funny. You can read more of her work on her blog Coffee & Champagne, or follow her on Instagram @jennifer_rompilla.