Tips for Dating over 30
Let's get right into the shit. Fuck all the introduction about "getting older" and how dating can be "fun", realistically my miserable experiences into dick land have prepared me for the most helpful guide to finding love. We all grown, so if at any point you read this and can't relate- YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
If you go to his home and there is no bed; he is homeless. Yes, yes he has walls, but if there is nothing in the home to constitute an actual "home" RUN. Don't think that picnic in the living room is romantic, that's just his furniture.
If he asks to take a random "selfie" on the first date, he just wants to show his boys- and while you are looking gorgeous--it's still weird.
Offer, but let him pay for the first date- ALWAYS. If he is okay with going half on the first date- RUN. He all smoke and mirrors.
If his texts are green bubbles...it's not a deal breaker, but keep an eye out for other suspicious behavior.
If you had an amazing night and don't get a "I had a great night" or "Are you home?" text; he's not interested.
If he thinks 401k is an area code- RUN.
If there are ever conversations about being an "entrepreneur" he has NO JOB. *This also is for dating profiles as well. If it says "Works for Self" He has NO JOB. Pass go and don't collect shit.
If he doesn't willingly talk about his life before you started dating seriously he has either one or all three; 6 kids, a serial killer, or sound cloud rapper.
If he ever refers to anyone he knows as "crazy" he's the TOXIC one- RUN.
If he has NO friends........RUN; there is a reason why.
Not to scare you from the chance of finding "the one", there are just some things I've encountered in my mishaps with love. BUT, like everything dating is NOT the WORST thing you'll ever endure, it's just tedious and draining. Realistically, a lot of people are not as emotionally available as they say, and dating is the art of figuring it out.
So dress up, get cute and enjoy the night for what it is, you'll at least have a full belly and a great story to share with your girls tomorrow. Cheers bitch, and good luck.