Girl, Bye: The Advice Column

"Nik, I have a friend of 10 years that I don't trust around my boyfriend. What do I do?

Quick Response: Bump both (pronounced BOF) of em'

I am a firm believer on gut reactions and if you don't trust a person who has been in your life for 10+ years, girl- you already know that person ain't shit. We all know the number one rule of girl code is to not be messy with previous or current boyfriends and realistically that's probably why you feel a type of way. Look at your friend's past, she messy? ...I assume yes.

Unfortunately saying you don't trust your friend around your boyfriend also tells me you don't trust your man. Possibility? I think so. You need to make sure you create an environment going forward that permits boundaries and people who love you enough to respect your individual relationships. I be damned if I'm in a situation where I don't feel like I can have both parties around without some shady shit going down. I mean, what if you have to poop? That's a good 10-20 minutes and now you gassy and miserable hoping that no slick shit go down? GIRL BYE.

I would recommend letting both relationships go. Neither party seems worth keeping-EVEN WITH 10 YEARS! Time doesn't matter if the person or thing is repeatedly not adding towards your happiness, and NEWS FLASH your homegirl IS NOT.

Moving forward if you decided to ride solo from both people, just be prepared if they end up dating or talking after. Trust, that shit is going to suck, but like anything it will pass and you will be better off. Nothing is worth your mental clarity and self. Prioritize yourself in this situation and don't stick around just because of convenience. Other friends and men will be around, but promise to bring such potential towards the betterment of you. Align your actions and tribe with people who only possess good vibes.

Listen to energy and go with your gut.


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